Unwanted Deathwish
by katkarma
Summary: All she seeks is relief from her horrid pain. She has a plan, but then everything goes wrong. Something happens that only makes it worse, or so she thought.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Life, hmmm….that is one interesting word. What does it mean exactly, to continue to walk the earth or have a heartbeat? To some it means one thing, to others another. To me it means pain and agony to have to live. My heart may beat but it feels empty, like a bottomless pit. It has felt that way much too long, which is why I am going to do this. Why I spent all of my money on a one way ticket to Italy. Why I was going to Voltura to tell the rulers of their kind what I know. I was going to the castle like a visitor and start shouting such things of knowledge, enough to confuse the humans and more than enough to alert the….vampires. I am Isabella Swan and this is my mission….death. It is the one thing I seek since his departure. He left me alone and hurt; I don't think that I could ever feel whole again after the treachery he committed. I haven't been able to really breathe since he left me, alone and in a comatose state.


	2. Unexpected Visitor

My bag was packed and waiting, but I had one last thing to do before I left. I had already written the note to Charlie telling him I loved him and that I am sorry that it came to this, also for him to tell Renee that I love her and that I am sorry. So I put my lone bag into my truck and started her up. I had gotten my friend Jacob to fix her up so that she wasn't as much of an attention drawer. I drove the long familiar route to the place where the trail was, the trail I never took. I walked the couple of hours it took to get to the one place I used to love. I just sat down in the middle, never noticing the figure in the shadows until it was too late.

The god like creature stalked towards me, from it's appearance and its sparkling skin, I immediately knew what it was. One of the kind that broke my heart, oddly enough this one wore a mask. Most of them basked in their beauty and the attention it brought them. I shocked my self with a sudden wave of bravery.

"Hello, I feel so rude assuming this but what can I do. You must not be thirsty because then I would be dead by now." The voice that spoke – thankfully was not one I recognized – but still the male voice was so beautiful and musical, it reminded me of that family I once trusted and loved. And somehow still love.

"Quite an observant little human, you must tell me how you know such things? It is now often that you come across a human with such knowledge, to tell you the truth you are the first that I have found." I smiled, I knew I couldn't tell him who because I was afraid they would be killed because they told me what they were. Technically they didn't tell me though, Jake did.

"I once knew a family of your kind…." I was surprised that he interrupted me.

"I am going to guess that would the Cullens?" I just stared at him with my mouth agape in shock of how he knew.

"How did you…..know?" I demanded and then instantly regretted it in fear that he would kill me or change me. I wanted to die by the Volturi's hand, not his.

"Recently I saw them, they were all quite distraught. When I asked them, they told me about a girl named Bella who lived in Forks…" I knew that I shouldn't interrupt him, but I needed to know.

"Are you sure they were upset, they should be happy." I said the last part with a little more emotion than I meant. He didn't say anything, I assumed he was shocked that I figured out what really happened, but I couldn't be sure because of his stupid mask.

"I take it that it is you, after they had told me what happened I came here, though I made sure that I was possibly thinking of going somewhere else so that the one who saw the future wouldn't know where I was going. Shortly before I left, she had a vision of you dying by the Volturi's hand. So they all rushed there to save you, including Edward." I winced at the casual saying of his name. "I'm sorry I should have known that name would cause pain. Anyway, I came here because I saw through their demented thinking that you could live a better life without them. I figured that I would inform you that if you went there, they were going to take you back with them." I decided to tell him how I felt, even though I probably shouldn't.

"Part of me wants to go and act surprised when they save me," I made quotations around the save part since now that I know that if I went there, there would be no possibility that I would die. "The other part of me wants to never see them again because of what they did to me." I fought with myself over adding something and decided just to ask him outright. "Would you change me?" He stood there and since he still had that mask on I couldn't see the emotions on his face.

"Is that what you really want?" I nodded and he sighed almost like he was fighting with himself, much like I had done moments before. "Okay then." He took off his mask so that he could change me, but when I saw his face I gasped. He seemed to know why and tried to put the mask back on, but I put my hand on his to stop him (I had hoped he would stop even though my hand would do nothing to stop him) and immediately regretted it. A shock went through me, a hundred times more powerful than anything I ever felt with Edward. It was written on his face that he had felt it too, but I said nothing about it.

"What happened to you?" Before I could stop myself, I reached up to touch his face. He didn't stop when I traced his scars; he merely closed his eyes, though I haven't a clue why. When I stopped he opened his eyes which were no longer onyx but now black, and I had a strong feeling it was because of what I just did. Whoops. He stared at me for a moment before he answered, but as he spoke he never looked away from me.

"My creator scratched me repeatedly during the change, never stopping. He did it so much that his venom couldn't keep up with repairing them, so they stayed." He sighed at that and looked away, obviously ashamed of his scars and his past; I refused to let that happen and pulled his face so he was looking at me again. He gasped at my touch.

"You shouldn't be ashamed of what someone else did to you." The fierceness of my words not only shocked him, but me too. He nodded in agreement and then he seemed to remember my original request.

"Do you still want me to change you?" I nodded and kept quiet as he bend his head to my neck. I realized then that Edward no longer mattered to me, but I didn't even know this man's name.

"Wait!" He seemed relieved, almost like he hadn't wanted to do this in the first place. "Sorry to interrupt, but I don't even know your name." He laughed, but it sounded as if he was nervous and just trying to cover it up.

"My apologies, I know your name but forgot to tell you mine. My name is Nicolas Andrew Livalandro." He smiled and then something dawned on him. "Do you wish for me to call you Bella or something else?" I thought about it for a moment and then figured the perfect answer.

"You can call me Marie, that's my middle name." He smiled and bent down again to seal my fate forever. He bit me and I felt the fire but didn't mind, I hoped that I could spend an eternity with him. Little did I know that wasn't how it was going to happen.


End file.
